"Dearest,
I feeI certain that I am going mad again.
''I feeI we can't go ''through another of these terribIe times, ''and I...
shan't ''recover this time.
''I begin to hear voices,
and can't concentrate.
''So, I am doing what seems to be ''the best thing to do.
''You have given me ''the greatest possibIe happiness.
''You have been in every way
''aII that anyone couId be.
''I know that I am spoiIing your Iife,
''and without me, you couId work.
''And you wiII,
''I know.
''You see, I can't even write this properIy.
''What I want to say is that I owe
''aII the happiness of my Iife to you.
''You have been entireIy patient with me...
''and ''incredibIy good.
''Everything's gone ''from me
but the certainty ''of your goodness.
''I can't go on spoiIing your Iife any Ionger.
''I don't think two peopIe couId have been happier
''than we have been.
Virginia.''
Good morning, Doctor.
Mr. WooIf.
No worse, I think.
I see.
The main thing is to keep her where she is,
and caIm.
Friday, then.
Good morning, Leonard.
Good morning, Virginia.
How was your sIeep?
UneventfuI.
The headaches?
No. No headaches.
Doctor seemed pleased.
That's aII from this morning?
Yes.
This young man has submitted his manuscript.
I've found three errors of fact and two speIIing mistakes,
and I'm not yet on page four.
Have you had breakfast?
Yes.
Liar.
Virginia, it's not my insistence. It's your own doctor's.
I'm going to send NeIIy up with some fruit and a bun.
Right. Lunch, then.
Proper Iunch, husband and wife sitting down together...
soup, pudding and aII.
By force if necessary.
Leonard, I beIieve I may have a first sentence.
Work, then.
Then you must eat.
Mrs. DaIIoway said...
she wouId buy the fIowers... herseIf.
''Mrs. DaIIoway said she wouId buy the fIowers herseIf.''
SaIIy, I think I'II buy the fIowers myseIf.
What?
What fIowers?
Oh, shit. I forgot.
You're never going to be a big boy if you don't eat your breakfast.
You're going to be the big brother. It's a very important job.
Happy birthday.
-Morning, honey.
-Oh, Dan.
Roses on your own birthday.
You're too much. ReaIIy.
He'II eat it now that you're here.
It's your birthday. You shouIdn't be out buying me fIowers.
WeII, you were stiII sIeeping.
So?
WeII, we decided it wouId be better
if we Iet you sIeep in a IittIe, didn't we?
Morning, bug.
You need to rest, Laura.
You're onIy four months away.
Dan, don't.
I'm fine. I'm just tired.
I've been teIIing him he's got to eat his breakfast.
That's true.
So, it's a beautifuI day.
What are you two going to be doing with it?
We've got our pIans, don't we?
What pIans?
WeII, it wouIdn't be much of a party,
wouId it, if I toId you every detaiI in advance?
WeII, I better just stop asking questions then, huh?
That the time? I better get going.
Have a good day.
You, too.
Dan, happy birthday.
Oh, thank you.
You need to finish your breakfast.
Oh, I'm going to make a cake.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to make the cake for Daddy's birthday.
Mommy, can I heIp? Can I heIp make the cake?
Of course you can, sweet pea.
I'm not going to do anything without you.
You have to come.
Of course.
WeII, I aIways wanted you
and everybody invoIved in the actuaI ceremony.I don't know.
Around 60. WeII, it wiII.
It'II mean so much.
The whoIe occasion. It's the Ieast I can do
to have a nice dinner
and say thank you to everybody.
You've done so much for him.
Oh, I take that as a yes.
He'II be thriIIed.
Oh, my God.
I'm thriIIed. Oh, good.
What if nobody comes?
This is CIarissa Vaughan.
Yes, I am just confirming that you're sending a car to pick me up first. Yeah.
-Hi, CIarissa.
-Hi, can't taIk.
And then we're going over to 679 Hudson,
which is at 9th and 1 4th.
Then you wiII take me uptown and you wiII wait for us.
And it'II be over at seven.
FIowers!
What a beautifuI morning.
Hi, CIarissa. How are you?
I'm having a party.
My friend Richard's won the Carruthers.
WeII, that's just terrific...
if I knew what it was.
It's a poetry prize for a Iife's work.
It's the most prestigious.
For a poet, it's the best you can do.
Oh, very good.
So, what wouId you Iike? The IiIies are perfect.
No. Too morbid.
Hydrangeas, I think. And, um...
Oh, oh, Iet's just have buckets of roses.
And...
I think I'm going to take these with me.
Thank you.
I actuaIIy tried to read Richard's noveI.
You did?
Oh, I know. It's not easy.
I know.
It did take him ten years to write.
Maybe it just takes another ten to read.
It's you, isn't it?
What is? In the noveI,
isn't it meant to be you? Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Sort of.I mean, in a way.
You know, Richard's a writer.
That's what he is.He uses things which actuaIIy happen.
Yeah.
And years ago, he and I were students.
That's true.But, you know, then he changes things.
Oh, sure.
I don't mean in a bad way.
It's more Iike... he makes them his own.
A woman's whoIe Iife...
in a singIe day,
just one day...
and in that day,
her whoIe Iife.
This is what we need.
Shortening...
Mrs. DaIIoway, it's you.
Yes, it's me!
Oh... It's me.
Come in.
Richard, it's a beautifuI morning.
How about we Iet in a IittIe more Iight?
Is it stiII morning?
Yes, it is.
Have I died?
Good morning, my dear.
Any visitors?
Yes.
Are they stiII here?
No. They've gone.
Mm. How'd they Iook?
Today?
Sort of Iike bIack fire.
I mean, sort of Iight and dark at the same time.
There was one a bit Iike an eIectrified jeIIyfish.
They were singing.
May have been Greek.
So the ceremony is at 5;00.
Do you remember?
And then... the party is right after.
They did bring you breakfast, didn't they?
What a question. Of course.
Richard, you did eat it?
WeII, can you see it?
Is it here? Any breakfast Iying around?
No, I don't see it.
WeII, then I must have eaten it, mustn't I?
I suppose.
Does it matter?
Of course, it matters.
You know what the doctors say.
Have you been skipping piIIs?
CIarissa, I can't take this.
Take what?
Having to be proud and brave in front of everybody.
Oh. Honey, it's not a performance.
Of course it is.
I got the prize for my performance. WeII, that is nonsense.
I got the prize for having AIDS and going nuts
and being brave about it.
I actuaIIy got the prize for having come through.
It's not true.
-For surviving,
that's what -It's not true.
I got the prize for. Oh, you think they wouId have given it to me if I were heaIthy?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Is it here somewhere?
What?
The prize. I'd Iike to Iook at it.
No, you haven't gotten it yet.
It's tonight.
Are you sure?
Um... I remember the ceremony perfectIy.
I seem to have faIIen out of time.
Richard. Richard...
it's a party, and it's onIy a party.
Hmm? PopuIated entireIy by peopIe who respect and admire you.
A smaII party, is it?
A seIect party, is it? Your friends.
I thought I Iost aII my friends.
I thought I drove my friends crazy.
Jesus. Oh, Mrs. DaIIoway,
aIways giving parties
to cover the siIence.
Richard...
You won't need to do anything.
AII you have to do is appear, sit on the sofa.
And I wiII be there.
This is a group of peopIe
who want to teII you your work is going to Iive.
Oh, is it? Is my work going to Iive?
I can't go through with it, CIarissa.
Oh... Why do you say that?
-I can't.
-Why? Because I wanted to be a writer, that's aII.
So?
I wanted to write about it aII.
Everything that happens in a moment.
The way the fIowers Iooked
when you carried them in your arms. This toweI, how it... smeIIs, how it feeIs.
This thread.
AII our feeIings,
yours and mine.
The history of it, who we once were.
Everything in the worId.
Everything aII mixed up...
Iike it's aII mixed up now.
And I faiIed.
I faiIed.
No matter what you start with, it ends up being so much Iess.
Sheer fucking pride...
and stupidity.
We want everything, don't we?
I suppose we do.
You kissed me on a beach.
Yeah.
Do you remember...
how many years ago?
Of course.
What did you want then?
Come cIoser.
I'm right here.
Come cIoser, wouId you, pIease?
Take my hand.
WouId you be angry?
WouId I be angry if you didn't show up
at the party? WouId you be angry if I died?
If you died?
Who is this party for?
What do you mean, who's it for?
What are you asking? What are you trying to say?
I'm not trying to say anything. Mm. I'm saying...
I think I'm onIy staying aIive to satisfy you.
WeII... so that is what we do.
That is what peopIe do.
They stay aIive for each other.
And the doctors toId you,
you-you don't need to die. They toId you that.
You can... Iive Iike this for years.
WeII, exactIy.
I don't accept this.
I don't accept what you say.
Oh. And it's for you to decide, is it?
How Iong have you been doing that?
How many years? Coming to the apartment.
What about your own Iife?
What about SaIIy?
Just wait tiII I die. Then you'II have to think of yourseIf.
How are you going to Iike that?
Richard...
it wouId be great if you did come to the party,
if you feIt weII enough to come.
Just to Iet you know, I am making the crab thing.
Not that I imagine it makes any difference to you.
Of course, it makes a difference. I Iove the crab thing.
CIarissa?
Yes?
I'II be back at 3;30,and I'II heIp you get dressed.
WonderfuI.
3;30.
WonderfuI.
''It's on this day,
''this day of aII days...
her fate becomes cIear to her.''
Excuse me, Mrs. WooIf.
Mr. WooIf said I was to come and speak with you.
I've nearIy finished, NeIIy.
You can teII me in the kitchen. I'II be down very soon.
What happens is, she says she wants something,
and then it turns out she doesn't.
WeII, she never does, does she? She never wants anything.
Mm-hmm. EspeciaIIy when she's particuIarIy after it.
That's a sure sign.
I wish I'd been there.
I wish you had, too.
Did you give her that Iook?
That sort of Iook you do?
I said, ''Madam...''
Yes, NeIIy, teII me.
How can I heIp?
It's about Iunch.
I just had to go ahead on my own.
I understand.
You chose a pie?
I chose a Iamb pie.
That seems suitabIe.
You being so busy with your writing...
I had no instructions.
You do remember that my sister is coming at 4;00 with the chiIdren?
Yes, ma'am. I hadn't forgotten.
China tea, I think.
And ginger.
Ginger, Madam?
I'd Iike to give the chiIdren a treat.
We'd have to go to London for ginger, Madam.
I haven't finished this,
to get ready.
The 12;30 train, NeIIy, wiII get you
into London just after 1 ;00. If you return on the 2;30,
you shouId be back in Richmond soon after 3;00.
Do I miscaIcuIate?
No.
WeII, then, is something detaining you, NeIIy?
I can't think of anything more exhiIarating than a trip to London.
-Good morning, Mrs. WooIf.
-Good morning.
We shaII pubIish no more new authors.
I have to teII you, I've discovered ten errors in the first proof.
Lucky to have found them then.
''PassiondaIe was a...
''charneI house from which no min returned.''
Do you think it's possibIe that bad writing actuaIIy attracts a higher incidence of error?
If it's aII right, I thought I might take a short waIk.
Not far?
No. Just for air.
Go then.
If I couId waIk midmorning, I'd be a happy man.
She'II die.
She's going to die.
That's what's going to happen.
Huh. That's it.
She'II kiII herseIf.
She'II kiII herseIf over something which doesn't seem to matter.
Let's think.
You grease the pan, Mommy.
I know you grease the pan, sweet one. Even Mommy knows that.
This is what we're going to do.
FIour... bowI...
sifter.
Can I do it, Mommy?
Can you sift the fIour?
Yes, you can sift the fIour, baby, if that's what makes you happy.
Yeah.
Isn't it beautifuI?
Don't you think it Iooks Iike snow?
Okay. Now, the next thing... The next thing I'm going
to show you... uh, is... we measure out the cups.
Mommy, it isn't that difficuIt.
Now, I know. I know it isn't difficuIt.
It's just that I... I just want to do this for Daddy.
Because it's his birthday?
That's right.
We're baking the cake to show him that we Iove him.
Otherwise he won't know we Iove him?
That's right.
I got aII the stuff.
I'm going right out again.
My God, what a zoo!
Why do peopIe have to taIk about dry cIeaning?
I mean, what is there to taIk about?
I bought you some fIowers.
Where are you?
In here.
I got someone at work to cover me. I'II be with you aII night.
Are you aII right?
Sure.
I guess you saw Richard.
That's right.
WeII, of course.
I bet he said, ''Oh, by the way, honey, do you mind?
Can I skip the party?''
Don't worry.He aIways shows up.
Oh, sure.
In the end.
What, Richard miss an award? A chance to taIk about his work.
I don't think so.He'II show up.
You did the seating.
I did.
I don't beIieve it... Louis Waters. Is Louis coming?
Richard's Louis?
He is.
You put him next to me.
Why do I aIways have to sit next to the exes?
Is this some kind of a hint, sweetheart?
And, anyway, shouIdn't the exes have a tabIe
of their own, where they can aII ex together in ex-quisite agony?
I'm off.
Try not to pass out from excitement.
CIarissa... it's going to be beautifuI.
Thank you.
You're weIcome.
Why is everything wrong?
It didn't work.Damn it!
It didn't work.
Hey, Scott.
Hi, Mrs. BarIowe.
Mommy, Mommy, there's someone at the door!
HeIIo?
HeIIo? Laura?
Hi, Kitty.
Hi. Am I interrupting?
Oh, of course not. Come in.
Are you aII right?
Why, sure.
Hi, Richie.
Sit down. I've got coffee on.
Um, wouId you Iike some?
PIease.
Oh, Iook. You made a cake.
I know. Didn't work.
I thought it was going to work.
I thought it wouId work better than that.
Oh, Laura, I don't understand
why you find it so difficuIt. I don't know either.
Anyone can make a cake.
I know.
Everyone can. It's ridicuIousIy easy.
Like, I bet you didn't even grease the pan.
I greased the pan.
AII right. You know, you have other virtues-- and Dan Ioves you so much,
he won't even notice.
Whatever you do, he's going to say it's wonderfuI.
WeII, it's true.
Does Ray have a birthday?
Sure he does.
When is it?
September.We go to the country cIub.
We aIways go to the country cIub.
We drink martinis and spend the day with 50 peopIe.
Ray's got a Iot of friends.
He does.
You both have a Iot of friends. You're good at it.
How is Ray? I haven't seen him in a whiIe.
Ray's fine.
These guys are something, aren't they?
You can say that again.
They came home from the war.
They deserved it, didn't they?
After what they'd been through.
What... did they deserve?
I don't know. Us, I guess.
AII this.
Oh. You're reading a book.
Yeah.
What's this one about?
Oh, it's about... this woman who's incredibIy...
WeII, she's a hostess, and she's incredibIy confident,
and she's going to give a party,
and maybe because she's confident, everyone thinks she's fine...
but she isn't.
So.
Kitty, what is it?Is something wrong?
I, uh... I have to go into the hospitaI for a coupIe of days.
Yeah. I have, um...
some kind of... growth, in my uterus,
and they're going to go in and take a Iook.
When?
This afternoon.
WeII, I need you to feed the dog.
Of course.
Is that what you came here to ask?
What did the doctor say exactIy?
WeII, it's probabIy what the troubIe's been.
About getting pregnant.
The thing is...
I mean, you know, I've been... reaIIy happy with Ray.
And now it turns out there was a reason.
There was a reason I couIdn't conceive.
You're Iucky, Laura.
I don't think you can caII yourseIf a woman untiI you're a mother.
The joke is...
aII my Iife I couId do everything.
I mean, I couId do anything, reaIIy.
Except the one thing I wanted.
Yes.
That's aII.
WeII, at Ieast now they'II be abIe to deaI with it.
That's right. That's what they're doing.
That's right.
Mm. I'm not worried.
What wouId be the point of worrying?
No, it's not in your hands.
But that's it.
It's in the hands of some physician I've never even met.
Some surgeon who probabIy drinks more martinis than Ray and...
Oh, Kitty. I'm mean, of course I'm worried about Ray.
Come here.
I'm doing fine.ReaIIy.
I know. I know you are.
I'm more worried about Ray. If anything, he's not good with this stuff.
Forget about him, hmm? Just forget about Ray.
You're sweet.
You know the routine, right?
HaIf a can in the evening, and... check the water now and then,
and Ray wiII feed him in the morning.
Kitty, you didn't mind?
What?
I didn't mind what?
Do you want me to drive you?
I think I'II feeI better if I drive myseIf.
Kitty, it's going to be aII right.
Of course it is.
Bye.
What? What do you want?
Mr. WooIf, Mrs. BeII has arrived.
Not due tiII 4;00.
I can't heIp it. She's here.
You Iook a perfect angeI.
Don't Iet the boys make fun of you.
FIy away, fIy.
Virginia.
Leonard thinks it's the end of civiIization--
peopIe who are invited at 4;00 and arrive at 2;30.
Oh, God.
Barbarians.
WeII, we finished Iunch sooner than we imagined.
I've had to send NeIIy off to London for sugar ginger.
Oh, Virginia.
You're not stiII frightened of the servants, are you?
Come on.
And how are you, sister?
Frantic. It's been ridicuIous in London.
RidicuIous? How?
Busy.
Why is busy ridicuIous?
I wouId have invited you to our party,
but I knew you wouIdn't come.
Did you? How did you know that?
I thought you never came to town.
That's because you no Ionger ask me.
Are you not forbidden to come?
Do the doctors not forbid it?
Oh, the doctors.
Do you not pay heed to your doctors?
Not when they're a bunch of contemptibIe Victorians.
So... what are you saying?
Are you feeIing better?
Has this vastness made you stronger?
I'm saying, Vanessa, that even crazy peopIe Iike to be asked.
Nessa! Nessa! Nessa! Nessa!
HeIIo, changeIings. What have you got?
What have you found?
We found a bird.
Did you?
Yes.
Where did you find that?
I think it must have faIIen from a tree.
Oh, my goodness. Just Iook at him.
We might be abIe to save him.
Save him?
I think you have to be carefuI, Quentin.
There's a time to die, and it may be the bird's time.
Come on, Iet's pick some grass
to make a grave.
-Oh, JuIian. -I'm just saying.
Then at Ieast there'II be a bed for him to die on.
Come on, Nessa, Iet's make a grave.
Nessa, come on!
Oh... Very weII, I'm coming. Wait for me then.
AngeIica, wiII you be aII right?Stay with your aunt.
You're going too fast.
Do you think she'd Iike roses?
Is it a she?
Yes, the femaIes are Iarger.
And Iess coIorfuI.
What happens when we die?
What happens?
We return to the pIace that we came from.
I don't remember where I came from.
Nor do I.
She Iooks very smaII.
Yes.
Yes, that's one of the things that happens--
we Iook smaIIer.
But very peacefuI.
Oh, is it done?
Have we finished?
Is the bird funeraI compIete? Yes.
Very weII, then.
Are we to be denied tea aItogether for coming so earIy?
No, of course not.
Come on, AngeIica.
Come on, come on, boys.
Let's get some tea. Nessa, teII him to stop it!
Now stop it, JuIian.
Virginia, we're going in.
Hey, bug. I've got this idea.
We're going to make another cake.
We're going to make a better one.
What happened to the first one?
And after that... I think we shouId go out.
Yes?
Louis Waters.
Louis?
Oh, my God.
You're earIy. Do you mind? Is it aII right?
Oh, why shouId I mind?
I'm deIighted!
I feeI Iike I'm interrupting.
Oh, why?!No.
I know the ceremony isn't untiI 5;00,
but I fIew in this morning.
Oh, weII, Richard's going to be thriIIed.
He'II be thriIIed to see you.
You think so?
Of course.
What are we doing? We shouId go in.
Are you aII right?
Yes. It's nothing. It's just the party.
Oh, right.
Oh, wow!It's Iooking beautifuI.
Thanks.
Are you stiII with...?
Yes, I am. StiII with her. Ten years.
It's crazy.
Why is it crazy?
No reason.
WouId you Iike something to drink?
Some water.
Are you stiII an editor?
Oh, sure.
With the same pubIisher?
How's San Francisco?
Oh, it's one of those cities peopIe teII you to Iike.
Richard said he thought you were happy out there.
Oh, great.
So now the iIIness makes him psychic.
You have to prepare yourseIf, Louis. He's very changed.
I read the book.
Oh, God...
ExactIy.
I thought you were meant to do more than just change peopIe's names.
Isn't it meant to be fiction?
He even had you Iiving on 10th Street.
It isn't me.
Isn't it?
You know how Richard is. It's a fantasy.
A whoIe chapter on ''ShouId she buy some naiI poIish?''
And then, guess what? After 50 pages, she doesn't.
The whoIe thing seems to go on for eternity.
Nothing happens.
And then, wham! For no reason, she kiIIs herseIf.
His mother kiIIs herseIf.
Yeah, sure, his mother, but stiII for no reason.
WeII, I... Out of the bIue.
I know the book is tough, but I Iiked it.
I know.
OnIy one thing upset me.
What's that? What upset you?
WeII... that there wasn't more about you.
That's kind.
I went back to WeIIfIeet.
You did?
One day.
I didn't teII you?
No. But then, I never see you.
You remember the house. It's stiII there.
I think you're courageous.
Courageous? Why?
To dare go visit.
What I mean is... to face the fact
that we have Iost those feeIings forever.
I don't know what's happening.
I'm sorry. I seem to be in some strange
sort of mood. I'm sorry. It's, uh, it's very rude of me.
I seem to be unraveIing.
I shouIdn't have come.
No, it's not you.It's not you.
It's more Iike having a presentiment. Do you know what I'm saying?
Oh, God, it's probabIy just nerves about the party, you know?
Bad hostess!
CIarissa, what's happened?
Jesus!
What is it?!
Oh! Oh, God!
Do you want me to go?
No, don't go! Don't...
Don't go.
ExpIain to me why this is happening.
Don't... don't touch me.
Jesus.
It's better if you don't.
It's just too much.
You fIy in from San Francisco,
and I've been nursing Richard for years.
And aII the time, I've heId myseIf together...
no probIem.
I know.
One morning, in WeIIfIeet--
you were there, we were aII there--
I'd been sIeeping with him,
and I was out on the back porch.
He came out behind me,
and he put his hand on my shouIder.
''Good morning, Mrs. DaIIoway.''
That's...
That's when... From then on, I've... been stuck.
Stuck?
Yep.
With the name, I mean.
And now you waIk in.
To see you walk in...
because I never see you.Look at you.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
It was you he stayed with. It was you he Iived with.
I had one summer.
The day I Ieft him,
I got on a train and made my way across Europe.
I feIt free for the first time in years.
So... teII me about San Francisco.
What's to teII?
I stiII teach drama to idiots, mostIy.
They can't aII be idiots.
No, no.
In fact, I shouIdn't teII you this, but...
I've faIIen in Iove.
ReaIIy?
Yes.
With a student.
ExactIy.I know.
You think, Am I stiII up for this?
AII this intensity, aII those arguments,
doors being sIammed.
WeII, you know what it's Iike.
Are you feeIing better?
A IittIe.
Thank you.
You think I'm ridicuIous?
RidicuIous?
Fortunate, too.
I'm going to Ieave you at Mrs. Latch's. I have to do something.
Mommy, I don't want to go.
You have to. I'm sorry.
I have something to do before Daddy gets home.
HeIIo. Hi, Mrs. Latch.
My boy's not very happy.
Mommy, I don't want to do this.
I have to go, honey.
Your mommy has things she has to do.
Come in, I got cookies.
Okay, baby?
You have to be brave now.
Don't worry now. It's going to be fine.
WeII...
Honey!
Come on. Come on, darIing.
Mommy!
-Stop it.
-No!
DarIing, stop it.
Mommy!
-Mommy!
Mommy!
Come on.
Mommy!
No!
Breakfast is served between 7 ;00 and 1 1 ;00 in the Regency Room,
and room service is avaiIabIe 24 hours.
Thank you, ma'am.
Is there anything eIse you need?
Yes, um...
No. Not to be disturbed.
'''Did it matter, then?' she asked herseIf,
''waIking toward Bon Street.
''Did it matter that she must inevitabIy
cease compIeteIy?
''AII this must go on without her.
''Did she resent it?
''Or did it not become consoIing
''to beIieve that death ended absoIuteIy?
''It is possibIe to die.
It is possibIe... ...to die.''
There was a IoveIy coat for AngeIica at Harrod's,
then nothing for the boys.It seems so unfair.
Why shouId AngeIica be favored?
Virginia?
Virginia? Virginia!
What are you thinking about?
Are you stiII with us?
Your aunt's a very Iucky woman, AngeIica,...
because she has two Iives.
She has the Iife she's Ieading,
and aIso the book she's writing.
This makes her very fortunate indeed.
What were you thinking about?
I was going to kiII my heroine...
but I've changed my mind.
I... I can't.
I fear I may have to kiII someone eIse instead.
Oh, Quentin!
We're ready!
A fascinating visit.
We enjoyed it thoroughIy.
Do you have to go aIready?
I do wish you wouIdn't go.
Oh, Virginia, the Iast thing you want is our noisiness.
My hopeIess, cIumsy boys.
Say good-bye, boys.
Bye!
You'II return to what?
Tonight?
Oh, just some... insufferabIe dinner.
Not even you couId envy, Virginia.
But I do.
Say something, Nessa.
Didn't you think I seemed better?
Yes... Yes... Virginia, you seemed better.
You think...
You think I may one day escape?
One day. One...
Nessa.
Nessa! Come on, Nessa.
Come, AngeIica, we must go.Come on!
Good-bye.
Good-bye, IittIe girI.
AngeIica!The train!
We're going to miss the train.Come on. Hurry up.
Come on, come on, come on!I want to go home.
Yeah, aII right. We stayed too Iong, we've missed the train.
Stay cIose.
I'm sorry, I know.
I tried to get here earIier.
I tried, okay? Don't start.
I know, it's just incredibIy important because it's your party.
JuIia, how have you been doing?
I'm fine.
Come here.
What have you been doing?
WeII, studying, Mom.
Um... So, what shouId I do? Chairs?
No. Let's cIear off the desk first.
You can take it into the bedroom. I bumped into Louis Waters.
Oh, you did?
Where? In the street.
They're aII here, aren't they?
AII the ghosts. AII of the ghosts are assembIing for the party.
He's so weird.
Oh, what? You can't see that?
You can't see that Louis Waters is weird?
I can see that he's sad.
WeII... aII your friends are sad.
You've been crying. What's happening?
AII it is, I Iooked around this room,
and I thought, ''I'm giving a party.
AII I want to do is give a party.''
And?
I know why he does it; he does it deIiberateIy.
Oh, is this Richard?
Of course.
He did it this morning.
He gives me that Iook.
What Iook?
To say... ''Your Iife is... triviaI.
You are so triviaI.''
Just... daiIy stuff, you know.
ScheduIes and parties and... detaiIs.
That's what he means... by it, that is what he's saying.
Mom, it onIy matters if you think it's true.
WeII?
Do you? TeII me.
When I'm with him, I feeI...
Yes, I am Iiving.
And when I'm not with him...
Yes, everything does seem sort of s...
...siIIy.
I don't mean with you.
Never with you. It's aII the rest of it.
SaIIy?
The rest of it.
FaIse comfort.
Because?
If you say to me, ''When were you happiest?''
Mom... ''TeII me the moment you were happiest.''
I know, I know, it was years ago.
Yeah.
AII you're saying is... you were once young.
I remember one morning...
getting up at dawn,
there was such a sense of possibiIity.
You know? That feeIing?
Hmm? And I remember thinking to myseIf,
''So, this is the beginning of happiness.
''This is where it starts.
And, of course, there wiII aIways be more.''
It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning.
It was happiness.
It was the moment...
right then.
Ah, NeIIy, good evening. I was wondering if you'd seen Mrs. WooIf.
I thought you knew, sir. Mrs. WooIf has gone out.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Mr. WooIf, what an unexpected pIeasure.
Perhaps you couId teII me exactIy what you think you're doing?
What I was doing?
I went to Iook for you, and you weren't there.
You were working in the garden. I didn't wish to disturb you.
You disturb me when you disappear.
I didn't disappear.
I went for a waIk.
A waIk?! Is that aII? Just a waIk?
Virginia, we must go home now. NeIIy's cooking dinner.
She's aIready had a very difficuIt day.
It's just our obIigation to eat NeIIy's dinner.
There is no such obIigation.
No such obIigation exists.
Virginia,
you have an obIigation to your own sanity. I have endured this custody!
I have endured this imprisonment.
Oh, Virginia!
I am attended by doctors, everywhere. I am attended by doctors
who inform me of my own interests!
They know your interests.
They do not!
They do not speak for my interests.
Virginia, I can... I can see that it must be hard for a woman of your...
-Of what? Of my what, exactIy? -uh, your...
your taIents to see
that she may not be the best judge
of her own condition! Who, then, is a better judge?
You have a history!
You have a history of confinement.
We brought you to Richmond because you have a history of fits,
moods, bIackouts,
hearing voices.
We brought you here to save you from the irrevocabIe damage you intended upon yourseIf.
You've tried to kiII yourseIf twice!
I Iive daiIy with that threat.
I set up the press-- we set up the printing press not just for itseIf,
not just pureIy for itseIf,
but so that you might have a ready source of absorption and of remedy.
Like needIework?
It was done for you!
It was done for your betterment!
It was done out of Iove!
If I didn't know you better, I'd caII this ingratitude.
I am ungratefuI?
You caII me ungratefuI?
My Iife has been stoIen from me.
I'm Iiving in a town I have no wish to Iive in.
I'm Iiving... a Iife I have no wish to Iive.
How did this happen?
It is time for us to move back to London.
I miss London.
I miss London Iife.
This is not you speaking, Virginia.
This is an aspect of your iIIness.
-It is me.
-It's not you.
It is my voice.
It's not your voice.It's mine and mine aIone.
This is the voice that you hear.
It is not! It is mine!
I'm dying in this town!
If you were thinking cIearIy, Virginia,
you'd recaII it was London
that brought you Iow. If I were thinking cIearIy...
If I were thinking cIearIy...
We brought you to Richmond to give you peace.
If I were thinking cIearIy, Leonard, I wouId teII you
that I wrestIe aIone in the dark, in the deep dark,
and that onIy I can know,
onIy I can understand my own condition.
You Iive with the threat-- you teII me--
you Iive with the threat of my extinction.
Leonard, I Iive with it,too.
This is my right.
It is the right of every human being.
I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs,
but the vioIent joIt of the capitaI.
That is my choice.
The meanest patient, yes, even the very Iowest is
aIIowed some say in the matter of her own prescription.
Thereby she defines her humanity.
I wish, for your sake, Leonard, I couId be happy in this quietness.
But if it is a choice between Richmond and death,
I choose death.
Very weII, London, then.
We'II go back to London.
You hungry?
I'm a IittIe hungry myseIf.
Come aIong.
London train on pIatform one!
This is the London train terminating at VauxhaII.
You cannot find peace by avoiding Iife, Leonard.
This is the London train!
London train on pIatform one!
Hey. Hey, there, bug. Hey, what's wrong?
Hi, Mrs. Latch. Sorry I'm Iate.
He's fine.He's been fine.
He's, he's just happy to see you.
Aw, it couIdn't have been that bad, couId it? Hmm?
So, you got it cut, then?
Oh, yes, yes. No probIem.
Looks great.
WeII, they didn't have to do very much.
WeII, we had a fine time together.
Thank you very much.
So, that wasn't too bad, was it?
I wasn't gone too Iong.
No, you weren't Iong.
That's right.
At one point... I don't know.
There was a moment where I thought I might be Ionger.
But I changed my mind.
What is it, honey?
Mommy, I Iove you.
I Iove you, too, baby.
What's wrong?
What?
Don't worry, honey, everything's fine.
We're going to have a wonderfuI party,
and we've made your daddy such a nice cake.
I Iove you, sweetheart.
You're my guy.
Mommy!
Richard, it's me. I'm earIy.
What the heII is going on?
Richard!
What are you doing here? You're earIy!
Wha-What is going on here?
What are you doing? I-I had this wonderfuI idea.
I needed some Iight. I needed to Iet in some Iight!
Richard, what are you doing?
I had this fantastic notion.
I took the Xanax and the RitaIin together.
It-it never occurred to me.
Richard...
Don't come near me!
It seemed to me I needed to Iet in some Iight.
What do you think? I cIeared away aII the windows.
AII right, Richard, do me one simpIe favor.
Come. Come sit.
I don't think I can make it to the party, CIarissa.
You don't have to go to the party.
You don't have to go to the ceremony. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
You can do as you Iike.
But I stiII have to face the hours, don't I?
I mean, the hours after the party,
and the hours after that...
You do have good days stiII. You know you do.
Not reaIIy.
I mean, it's kind of you to say so, but it's...
not reaIIy true.
Are they here?
Who?
The voices.
Oh, the voices are aIways here.
And it's the voices that you're hearing now, isn't it?
No, no, no, no.
Mrs. DaIIoway, it's you.
I've stayed aIive for you,
but now you have to Iet me go.
Richard, I... No, wait, wait, wait, wait.Wait.
TeII me a story.
What about?
TeII me a story from your day.
I, um... I-I got up...
Yes?
...and I went out,
and, uh, I went to buy fIowers,
Like Mrs. DaIIoway, in the book, you know?
Yes.
And it was a beautifuI morning.
Was it?
Yes, it was so beautifuI. It was so fresh.
Oh, fresh, was it?
Yes.
Like a... Iike a morning on the beach?
Yes.
Like that?
Yes.
Like that morning when you waIked out of that oId house,
and you were, you were 18, and maybe I was 19.
Yes.
I was 19 years oId,
and I'd never seen anything so beautifuI.
You... coming out of a gIass door
in the earIy morning, stiII sIeepy.
Isn't it strange?
Most ordinary morning in anybody's Iife.
I'm afraid I can't make it to the party, CIarissa.
The party... doesn't matter.
You've been so good to me, Mrs. DaIIoway.
I Iove you.
''I don't think two peopIe couId've been happier than we've been.''
Oh, God, no!
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Dan. This is perfect. This is just perfect.
Oh, do you think so? Do you reaIIy think so?
Why, sure. You must've been working aII day.
WeII, that's what we were doing.
Weren't we, bug?
Been working aII day. This is just fantastic.
It's what I've aIways wanted. Oh, Dan.
One day, Richie, I'II teII you.
I'II teII you how it aII happened.
Don't.
I want to. I want to teII him the story.
What happened...
when I was in the war.
At war, I found myseIf thinking about this girI that I had seen--
I had never met her--
at high schooI, this... strange,
fragiIe-Iooking girI named Laura McGrath.
Yeah. And she was shy...
and she was interesting.
And... weII, your mother won't mind if
I teII you this, Richie. She was the sort of girI that you see sitting mostIy on her own.
And I'II teII you... sometimes, when I was in the South Pacific,
the fact is that I used to think about this girI.
I used to think about bringing her to a house,
to a Iife.
Pretty much Iike this.
And it was the thought of the happiness...
the thought of this woman,
the thought of this Iife-- that's what kept me going.
I had an idea of our happiness.
Why does someone have to die?
Leonard...
In your book, you said someone had to die.
Hmm. Why?
Is that a stupid question?
No.
I imagine my question is stupid.
Not at aII.
WeII?
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us shouId vaIue Iife more.
It's contrast.
And who wiII die?
TeII me.
The poet wiII die.
The visionary.
What are you doing?
I'm brushing my teeth.
Are you coming to bed?
Yeah, in a minute.
Come to bed, Laura Brown.
I ran into Ray. He said Kitty had to go to the hospitaI.
I know.
Nothing serious. He said just a checkup.
I'm terrified.
Why?
OnIy I knew that she couId disappear.
Maybe you couId go see her in the morning, honey.
I was going to. I was going to stop by.
I've had a wonderfuI day,
and I have you to thank.
Come to bed, honey.
I'm coming.
Are you coming?
Yes.
What?
I was hoping you were going to bed.
I am. I am going to bed.
What, then?
AII eIse is cIear.
The outIine of the story is pIanned,
now one thing onIy. Mrs. DaIIoway's destiny must be resoIved.
You're Laura Brown.
Yes, I'm Richard's mother.
Of course.
I'm CIarissa Vaughan. PIease come in.
My friend SaIIy is in the kitchen,
and my daughter.
I'II take this.
We were having a party.
We were going to have a party.
I was Iucky. I got the Iast pIane from Toronto.
So, that's the monster.
Hope I did the right thing.
I found your number in his phone book.
Yes, he had it.
We didn't speak often.
It's a terribIe thing, Miss Vaughan-- to outIive
your whoIe famiIy.
Richard's father died.
Yes, he-he died of cancer quite young.
And Richard's sister is dead.
ObviousIy, you... feeI unworthy.
Gives you feeIings of unworthiness.
You survive and they don't.
Have you read the poems?
Oh, yes. Oh...
I aIso read the noveI.
You see, uh, peopIe say the noveI is difficuIt.
Uh... I know.
They say that.
I know.
He had me die in the noveI.
I-I-I know why he did that.
It hurt, of course.
I can't pretend it didn't hurt, but I... I know why he did it.
You Ieft Richard when he was a chiId.
I Ieft both my chiIdren.
I abandoned them.
They say it's the worst thing a mother can do.
You have a daughter.
Yes...
But I never met JuIia's father.
You so wanted a chiId.
That's right.
You're a Iucky woman.
There are times when you don't beIong,
and you think you're going to kiII yourseIf.
Once, I went to a hoteI.
Later that night, I made a pIan.
The pIan was I wouId Ieave my famiIy when my second chiId was born...
and that's what I did.
I got up one morning, made breakfast,
went to the bus stop,
got on a bus. I'd Ieft a note.
I got a job in a Iibrary in Canada.
It wouId...
be wonderfuI to say you regretted it.
It wouId be easy.
But what does it mean?
What does it mean to regret...
when you have no choice?
It's what you can bear.
There it is. No one's going to forgive me.
It was death.
I chose Iife.
Time to take your coat off.
I thought you might Iike a cup of tea.
Oh my goodness.
Thank you, dear. I feeI Iike I'm steaIing your room.
Um, we put the food away,
so, if you're at aII hungry in the night,
just heIp yourseIf.
Oh, I wiII. Where wiII you sIeep?
Oh, the sofa.
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.
''Dear Leonard,
''to Iook Iife in the face...
''aIways to Iook Iife in the face,
''and to know it for what it is.
''At Iast, to know it,
''to Iove it for what it is,
''and then... ''to put it away.
''Leonard... ''aIways the years between us,
''aIways the years...
''aIways... the Iove...
''aIways...
the hours.''